My Brother.
My brother, who is 3 years and 10 months younger than me is a shambolic sort of a chap. While he may be highly disorganized this is often the hall mark of a genius mind. Take for example last weekend. Now this story actually begins several month ago with a plea from Ken, that’s my brother, to join him in a Lions Club charity bike ride in Ipswich, Queensland. I gave it some thought, and after much wailing and gnashing of teeth I agree. So after registering for the 100 kms event some weeks ago, and Ken on the morning of the ride, we duly line up with about 200 other keen cyclist at 7.00am. on Sunday morning. Now you must understand that there are on the same day other events; and so that the officials could tell who was in which event we were given different colour wrist bands. The colour for 100kms was blue.
Seven o’clock comes and we are off, everybody jostling for their piece of road and trying to stay clear of everybody else. In the first few kilometers there are a few small hills and if you don’t keep on the pace you will quickly get dropped. I had a good start but quickly loose sight of Ken. Wasn’t long before I was into the first water stop at Rosewood. Went to toilet, had a drink, ate a banana, etc etc. No sign of Ken, so I push on. About 10 minutes later the mobile goes off, I answer. A voice says “where are you?”, “about 10 minutes out of Rosewood”, I replied. Ken says “Okay, I have just arrived, not feeling too great, I think I will do 50kms instead, you keep going and we’ll meet at the finish”. “Okay” says I and hang up. Now it should be understood that not only did different events have different colours, but they also started at different times. The 50kms started 30 minutes later than the 100kms. So here is Ken, keen cyclist, but not feeling too chipper, riding the course for 50kms, but with wrong colour wrist band and 30 minutes earlier than any marshal on the course would have expected riders for that event. All was okay until Ken approached a large roundabout and not sure which way to go. There was a marshal who was not paying attention some distance away, and with his nose in a book. Ken cries out, “Hey, you silly old bugger, which way do I go?”. The marshal, a little startled by this early arrival waved his hand in an anonymous direction, which was perceived by Ken that he should turn right. It wasn’t long before he began to feel things were not right, there was an increase in traffic and he seemed to be heading in the direction of Amberly Air Field!. A quick U turn brought him back to the scene of the crime, and after some remonstration with the marshal was put on the right road.
Now time at the finish line is approaching 9.20am when startled officials look up to see the first rider returning, and what’s this, he is wearing a Blue Band for 100kms! Wow, 100kms in 2hours 20 minutes! Unheard of in these parts, surley an Aussie champion to challenge Lance Armstrong. Much clapping and cheering as Ken crosses the line. But Ken is not a happy man, and begins to relate to officials the hard time he had because that marshal at the roundabout did not have his mind on the job. Well there were promises of serious investigations, and I am sure the FBI will be called to assist. Ken now feeling somewhat placated stamps off looking for a drink when he spies a very nice young lady standing out the front of a tent spruking free massages. In no time at all Ken was on the table, and she was doing her best to correct a dodgy back that had plagued Ken for some time. After some stretching and moving into various positions (some straight out of the Karma Sutra!) while she did manipulation of the offending area, Ken was being to enjoy himself. After 10 minutes or so Ken had his feet back on the ground, and the back was feeling very good, in fact the best it had been for some time.
I am sure you will appreciate the consummate cleverness of my brother that registers in a 100kms ride at the last minute, does 50kms instead, gets lost, upsets officials, demands investigations but has his dodgy back corrected by a charming young lady for free. This is a definitely a genius at work.
Well done Ken.
